Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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