i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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