Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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