oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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