You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.