weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
