he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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