so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I understand Curling. That high.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
