I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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