Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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