I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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