So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They took my balls.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
