i just wanna soil my oats bro
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My dick has a subreddit
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
