sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
