Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
