4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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