After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
