I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
