I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
