also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
