i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize