That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i barfeds in our rink
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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