I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
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I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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