Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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