i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
