I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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