It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
