The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
