Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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