i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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