But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
