Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
