do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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