Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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