I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize