mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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