Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
