On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize