All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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