where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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