their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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