I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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