He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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