Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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