yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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