i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's never too late to be topless.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
