My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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