Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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