North Korea, Best Korea!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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