Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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