did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
