I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize