She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
