ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
