he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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