My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
