he puts the penis in happiness.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize